Why am I so sad over my brother and sister?

We have never been close, recently our parents died and I would like to rekindle our relationship, they live in a different city but visit my city frequently, they don't even phone when they come to town and they have never seen where I live for over 12 years, I go to visit them in their homes on holidays and events, Email is rare and phone calls are about 3 a year. I used to compare myself to them, not as good as they are materialistically, I do not have a good job like they do, I am an artist. I miss them but I feel guilty when I am with them because I do not have a real job, I am a writer and a graphic designer