How do i get threw looseing my best friend who was once my boyfriend in an accident he was hit on 12/5/08?

i was walking with my three friends, one my ex boyfriend who was the greatest kid ever! he was riding his bike on rt 5 in my town right across from my road. he was strucking by a truck who was a under age driver...he was in the hospital in a coma for about a week until joseph schweitzer died. he had so many friends in school and so many family members that still have troubke sleeoing at night knowing hes not here. but what hurts me the most is my first love died right in front of me. i dont know what to do anymore i find so many love notes from him as i clean my room and it just kills me that my joey is gone. now i have to drive by the spot he was hit ever single day. he was only 15!